IT'S THE HANSAN HOLIDAY GUIDE SPEED RUN!
And a HO HO HO to you too!
Well HELLO, boys and girls! It is I… SANTO Claus! I’ve heard you’ve been VERY good this year… after all, no person who reads The Hansan Blog is on the naughty list.
I’ve been hoping to write a blog for all things holidays, and what better time to post it than… MORE THAN HALFWAY THROUGH DECEMBER??!??
WOAH WOAH WOAH, CALM DOWN! Before you say “But Santo Claus, you’re posting this with less than a WEEK of Christmas left!” Well, GUESS WHAT. Thanksgiving was SO LATE this year, AAAAAAAND the actual Christmas season does, in fact, go well into January, so WE’RE CHILLING! LOOK AT US! WE’RE CHILLING!
But the holiday season truly does fly by, which means you may have less time than you thought to do all of the wonderful things you’d like to do. Now you have this guide to make the best out of the last few weeks of the holiday season with quick and easy tips and tricks, no matter what you’re doing or where you are. EVERYBODY deserves to have a wonderful holiday season, SO LET’S HAVE OURSELVES A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS NOW. And… GO!
Get a “Pennie the Christmas Pickle” Ornament
Starting strong! I was 18 years old, listening to Cleveland Christmas Radio while decorating my house for Christmas (an all-time favorite activity), and suddenly, this song started to play:
I had to stop my Christmas decorating. I heard that man sing “Pennie Pickle, Pennie Pennie Pickle…” and was extremely confused. Who is Pennie? She’s a pickle? A Christmas pickle??? And why Cleveland radio?
To show you my confusion, here is a video of me recording my reaction in 2018:
“At P-E-N-N-I-E… THE CHRISTMAS PICKLE… .COM!!!!!” gets me every time.
So, long story short, there’s a pickle. And her name is Pennie. But she’s not just any other ordinary pickle! No… she’s a CHRISTMAS pickle. And she has a book! And a song! And an ornament I guess as well? I will admit and will own my very large mistake of NOT owning a Pennie the Christmas Pickle book or ornament, but she has been on my mind since, and now I want her to be on your mind too so we can figure out the Pennie Pickle lore.
🕺🎶PENNIE PICKLE, PENNIE PENNIE PICKLE🎶💃
EAT! MORE! SOUP! (Read like the name of a game show)
BRRRR uh oh! It’s so cold outside! Sure… you’re inside away from the winter chill, but you wish there was something else that could warm you up like a hot bowl of soup.
Oh… I know! How about a hot bowl of soup!
Soup is GOOD, so so good. And there are so many different types of soups! A broth-based soup, maybe some tomato bisque, or a FRENCH ONION, OH MY- it’s so good. Christmas brings warm, fuzzy feelings, and so does soup! But if you want to get even CRAZIER, then get a bowl of soup, and then a sandwich to DIP it in? I’m going to find a picture on Google Images to encapsulate the soup that I can picture in my brain now:
BROOOOOOOOOOOOO. WHAT EVEN IS THAT! NOW THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A BIG BOWL OF CHRISTMAS SOUP!
No snow? GO FIND IT!
As you can probably tell from every single person’s observation on the PLANET… it snows much less than it used to (Cue the Sad Trombone sound ☹️) but that just means when it DOES snow, it makes it all the more special. That being said, I really hope it snows this December………. Oh? What’s that? Cleveland got over 30 INCHES OF SNOW on December 1st? No, that possibly couldn’t have happe-
OH, BUT IT DID! Imagine 48 hours of nonstop, heavy snow. That’s lake effect snow for ya! This is my first full-length Christmas season in Cleveland since 2018, and most likely one of my last, and the fact that the first whole 10 days of the holiday season was a winter wonderland?!!??? MMMMMM YEAH… IT WAS AWESOME. YA GOTTA TRY IT SOMETIME!
Learn at least one instrument so you can play your part in a spontaneous rendition of “Sleigh Ride”
Yes, so this one is important. Imagine you’re at a park or perhaps an airport with a piano in the middle of the terminal, and someone just happens to sit down, crack their knuckles, and start playing a little improvised sequence of notes. It sounds SO great! Everyone starts to smile and tap their feet, when all of the sudden, someone pulls a trumpet out of their bookbag, stands nexts to the piano, and… What’s this? HE’S… HE’S STARTING TO PLAY THE MELODY TO SLEIGH RIDE! Everyone is catching on, and it’s even GREATER! And WHAT! IS! THIS! More people start pulling their instruments, and everyone is beginning to join in! Clarinets! Saxophones! Flutes! And… you have… NOTHING?!!! EVERYONE TURNS TO LOOK AT YOU… INSTRUMENT-LESS! HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE PREPARED FOR THIS MOMENT! IT’S! CHRISTMAS!
That’s why I want to remind you that this COULD happen to you. All I’m saying is… I DO have the snare drum part memorized from my senior year of high school band class, so the slapstick is all yours. That sucker is ENGRAINED in my brain.
BUNDLE UP!
If you know me well, you know I not only hate being cold, but that I’m cold very often. My mom told me if you’re cold to put on socks, but even when I’m wearing socks, I’m shivering no matter what. SOCKS DON’T FIX EVERYTHING! I just require a lot of warmth! This means you have to be dressed for any situation. Here’s an example:
Alright, so this is me right before attempting to shovel the 2 feet of snow in our driveway with my mom. We actually made a nice dent, but my body did feel like it was going to break apart like an old sugar cookie. In this picture, I’m wearing a pair of leggings, jeans over those, and then snow pants/overalls over that, then a longsleeve turtle neck, a sweatshirt, a winter jacket, and then that yellow jacket over that, and then big white mittens, and then my hat, and then the scarf you see on the chair. LOOKIN’ GOOD, FEELIN’ WARM!
Get a Pair of Christmas Jammies
Go get a matching top and bottom set of flannel pajamas that you can wear for the rest of the holiday season; it’ll make you feel festive, cozy, and oh so snuggly. Look at what I got:
From Hollister and… they’re little bears ice skating and drinking tea and skiing! Awwww 🩷
CHRISTMAS MUSIC GUIDE TIME
Christmas music gives me a type of joy that is hard to describe. Having a season that has the most beautiful church hymns and the jazzy classics makes my heart so happy.
I’ll keep it nice and simple for you. Keep it to OLD FASHIONED Christmas tunes (Think Sinatra, Bing, Ella, Dean, you know the vibe). Here’s a great start:
One of my all time favorite songs is Vivaldi’s “Et in Terra Pax Hominibus” and the first time I heard it was when I sang an arrangement of it ALL THE WAY BACK IN 2016 when I was in high school choir. If only we could listen to it… OH WAIT.
WE CAN!!!!!!!!!! First one to find me gets an extra piece of chocolate in their stocking! TOO LATE! CHECK OUT THE BOTTOM RIGHT! ALTO 2, BABY!!!!!!!!!! Singing this song is one of my favorite Christmas memories ever. E V E R. And probably will be forever.
Smell Good
You have TWO OPTIONS!
Go out to Home Goods and get some of their candles. Maybe… oh, I don’t know… TWELVE OF THEM??!! My favorite scent is relating to pine or christmas trees or anything of that sort. If you see “BALSAM FIR” in big green letters, then you’re in the right spot.
Get a small pot, fill it with half apple juice half water, throw in a cinnamon stick AND ground cinnamon, some pine branches, and finish it off with cranberries and and old apple. SIIIIIIMMER that pot. ALLLLLLLLL DAYYYYYYYY. Your house will literally smell like Santa’s workshop. The elves are going to get confused and come on over!
DO NOT Forget To Water Your Tree, or This Will Happen To You:
Would you believe me if I told you this happened the same year the Thanksgiving turkey caught on fire? Because it did. Just to clarify… we did water the tree; for whatever reason, it REFUSED to drink any water. What an idiot!
Color this exact Advent Wreath page that I probably colored a total of 53 times during my 16 years of Catholic school
And you know what? Make it 54 because I haven’t colored one of these in probably 5 years, and it was always a blast. (Coloring hint: three candles are purple, and one candle is pink. Because each Sunday leading up to Christmas, a candle is lit. And you would THINK that the PINK candle is the last one to be lit but ACTUALLY it’s lit on the THIRD Sunday and then the OTHER purple candle is lit on the LAST Sunday and THEN there’s actually ANOTHER candle that’s brought in ON Christmas Eve and that one is white BUT this illustration only has the three PURPLE candles and the one PINK candle. Any questions?)
Drive Around and Count How Many Frosties You See
I don’t know about you, but if you drive around to go look at Christmas lights (a must), you may notice something that I have noticed: there is an OVERWHELMINGLY significant number of snowmen decorations in front yards. I’m not talking about real-snow Frosties, I’m talking about fake, make of plastic snowmen. Is this a 2024 trend? Play a game and count how many Frosties you find, and I’ll send a prize to whoever finds the most. The prize will be your very own Frosty decoration.
I Really Need You to Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” Please (Serious)
Alright Alright Alright, LISTEN UP.
Anytime someone says they have never seen this movie, it honestly shocks me. If you haven’t seen it, I’m really. really. really. really asking that you find a night where you aren’t doing much, start up a fire, and watch this movie full-focus in its original 1946 black-and-white goodness. As a matter of fact, it is on Amazon Prime for FREE. Yeah… I CHECKED.
This movie is a Top 10, maybe even top 5, Santo Family Favorite without a DOUBT. We love it so much that the Christmas village on our mantle are ceramic replicas of the houses and buildings from the movie. AND, I just looked it up, and WatchMojo ranked it as #11 for “The Top Classic Movies of All Time.” It’s a classic for a reason, and I don’t want to spoil anything if you don’t know the story, but it’ll make you feel good and remind you that we have… well… a wonderful life! Christmas reminds us of all of the gifts we are blessed to have in our life, and the movie’s message is something I think you need to hear. So, please watch it. For Santo Claus. Thank you. Ahem… next on the list…
I Really Need You to Watch “Merry Madagascar” Please (Also Serious)
One of the greatest animated movies of our lifetime is Dreamworks’ “Madagascar.” It’s such a great movie that I have seen many times, but not as many times as its 20-minute made-for-television spectacular “Merry Madagascar.”
If you thought the 110 minute original movie was good, try smashing all of that into a half-hour and feel an overload of happiness. I just looked it up, and WatchMojo ranked it as #8367 for “The Top Classic Movies of All Time.” It’s a classic for a reason, and I don’t want to spoil anything if you don’t know the story, but the Central Park Zoo crew is planning on taking a hot air balloon back to NYC from Madagascar for Christmas. But! As they’re flying through the sky, red balls of fire pelt towards them, causing the balloon to pop and fall back to the island. Well, it turns out that King Julien and his sea of lemurs mistook the NEW YORK GIANTS for the “Red Night Goblin, a strange, red glowing figure that flys in the sky every December 24. Why do they try to shoot the Red Night Goblin down, you ask? Well, December 24 marks the beginning of “Juliannuary,” a holiday in which the lemurs all give King Julien gifts. So, Alex the Lion (voiced by Ben Stiller… just one part of a whole all-star cast) takes a shot and ACTUALLY shoots down the Red Night Goblin. BUT! IT ISN’T THE RED NIGHT GOBLIN! IT WAS ACTUALLY SANTA CLAUS! AND ALEX HIT HIM RIGHT IN THR HEAD, WHICH GAVE HIM AMNESIA, AND SANTA CAN’T REMEMBER WHO HE IS OR WHAT HE DOES! So what do Alex, Marlin, Gloria, and Marty do? They sprinkle a little bit of flying magic sparkles on The Penguins of Madagascar™ so they can act as Santa’s reindeer and deliver presents to all the good children of the world! (Also, side note, the sub-sub-plot is that Private the Penguin falls in love with a Reindeer.) But anyways, the FREAKS make their way around the world delivering gifts, and in doing so, realize if they take Santa’s sleigh back to Manhattan at the end of the night, they’ll never have enough magic to see Madagascar again. So… what do they do? They ditch New York to go BACK to the island, where Santa was relearned his joy of making toys, which resulted in King Julien learning the gift of giving. BUT WILL THE ANIMALS GET BACK TO THE ZOO? That’s why you have to watch to find out! I do have two copies of it on DVD if you want to borrow it (not a joke).
If you’re looking for another movie to watch, let me know and I can supply you with a page on my Notes app that keeps track of all of the Christmas movies and specials I watch. (You can fit 39 movies in the next few weeks! EAAAAASY!)
Get Yourself a Little Sumthin’ Sumthin’
I’d assume at this point you at least have a good sense of what you’re getting others for Christmas, but don’t forget about YOU! You know, just a little sumthin’ sumthin’! Nothing crazy! What did I get for myself? Well… I was in a vintage store, and came across these old Coca-Cola drinking glasses from 1989 that really called my name; they looked like something my parents would have had when they were close to my age. The tag said $22, and I loved it so much that I thought “You know what… sure, I’ll get it. It will look great in my future apartment one day.” Then… I looked closer at the tag, and it said “$22… set of 4.” You’re telling me… I CAN HAVE ALL 4 GLASSES FOR TWENTY TWO DOLLARS, AND I WAS ABOUT TO PAY FOR ONE OF THESE?” I’ve never bought something so fast in my whole life. Twenty! bucks! Merry Christmas, Hannah! Thank you, Hannah!
And the rest?
Take it easy the rest of this holiday season, and surround yourself with the love and warmth your family and friends bring you. But seriously, WHO is Pennie the Christmas Pickle??!!
♡ Matthew 1:23 ♡
Check out the last post:
Those glasses are a FIND!
i’m so happy i witnessed the purchase of those glasses